Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Musings on Mariah

[A batch of sonnets dedicated to the demanding diva otherwise known as Mimi.]




Mariah Carey,
To what shall I compare thee?
Perhaps a restaurant in the swanky park of town?
Or liquid nitrogen poured inside a clown?
A creamy stain upon a rented wedding gown?

Mariah Carey,
Your ambition doesn't scare me.
You deserve to spin forever like a top.
Can you get me some bananas from the shop?
Plus a paper and a can of diet pop.

Mariah Carey,
Are your cupboards nice and airy?
Does your toilet flush itself when you clap twice?
While a midget keeps your kitchen clear of mice
And a talking mirror offers health advice?

Mariah Carey,
With your voice like a canary
Or a budgie with ideas above its perch.
Your face as cold and uninviting as a church
May the gods of Diva Hell not spare the birch.

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