Friday, June 09, 2006

Anything But Keane

[In which heiress with the leastess Paris Hilton is punished severely for her unspeakable crimes against humanity]


And so Paris Hilton was sent to the chair
Bemoaning the fact she had nothing to wear.
The guards had shaved off all her lovely blonde hair
But worse was the cruel fate awaiting her there.


Instead of employing electrical means
To fry this annoying society queen,
They'd torture her with introspective paeans
The music began and she started to scream:


"Please, no, anything but
Keane!
I'd rather be stuck in a threshing machine!
I want to be back in my big limousine.
Giving some sleazy guy
peaches and cream.

Their songs are so dismal and dreary and drab;
The sweaty lead singer resembles a crab.
They're the audio equivalent of picking a scab;
Can't you just give me a quick lethal jab?"


The CD ran through a selection of tunes
As three hooded figures walked into the room.
And slowly removed their mysterious costumes,
Causing poor Paris to shriek like a loon:


"Please, no, anyone but Keane!
This is like some sort of horrible dream!
I realise now I've been selfish and mean
But promise in future I'll be less
obscene!"

Such passionate remorse could not be ignored
By the fair-minded folk on the prison board.
So Paris was spared Keane's final encore
And chopped into bits with a samurai sword.


5 comments:

Destiny said...

Just love it! Too bad it can't be made into a movie!

akhil said...

contemporary stuff in here.

:)

cool.
loved reading it!

China Blue said...

Inspired stuff! Love it.

Many want to see La Hilton go to the chair, few could say it so stylishly.

Anonymous said...

ha ha ha...actually this is not funny...and keane's music is great, and the lead singer is awsome...all of them are...You could at least be more original by not affecting no one.
please...stupid person...get a life...

I was surfing throught the web,
When I saw something sad,
Someone was trying to be funny,
but he didn't, not even with honey...

This may not rime,
but is the pure truth,
You're stupid as a stain,
in my poor youth.

this is another way to say f**K You

Anonymous said...

Er, I think it's actually Paris Hilton who gets the raw deal, but if you value her opinions then more fool you.