Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Sweet Dinner Lady of Mine

[Tired of groupies and drugs, Guns n' Roses frontman Axl Rose finds true love and a square meal in a school canteen]


"Axl," she said
As she rolled off the bed,
"Last night was like seventh heaven.
But I've got to go
Because as well you know
I'm due into work by eleven."
I gave her a kiss
This apron-clad miss
And dug out some bus fare to lend her.
Then bid my farewell
To the cooking fat smell
Of my sweet dinner lady called Brenda.

She's totally cool
As she glides through the school
To start heating up the spaghetti.
But if
Jamie Oliver
Tries to come onto her
His tongue will meet my machete.
And just could it be
That she's thinking of me
As she tosses some fruit in the blender?
She's surprisingly nifty
For a woman of fifty
My sweet dinner lady called Brenda.

Although I miss Slash
And going out on the lash
I've cashed in my rock 'n' roll dreams.
You really can't beat
Something tasty to eat
Even when it's just fried egg and beans.
I ate my destruction
And now every luncheon
Has vegetables on the agenda.
Regained my allure
And I owe it to her:
My sweet dinner lady called Brenda.




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