Paul McCartney Must Be Stopped

[Not a very nice sentiment admittedly, but enough's enough]

Remember mad Russian Rasputin?
They had to poison, drown and shoot him.
Of course these things don't happen now
Under President Vladimir Putin.
But if such executions
Should resume, then I insist
That old Sir Paul McCartney
Be the first name on the list.

It's true the man is talented
And has written some classic songs.
But he threatens to tarnish his legacy
By insisting on carrying on.
His music has been irrelevant
Since 1984 at least.
That cartoon with the singing frogs
Or maybe Pipes of Peace.

I have no need to hear more tunes
About birds and days of yore.
Nor double-length live albums
With the same tracks as the one before.
Drones on about going back to his roots,
As far as I'm concerned he can stay there
The only roots he needs to worry about
Are the ones from his badly-dyed grey hair.

I'm sure that he and Heather
Both deserve a longterm break.
They can live off all those
Millions in royalties he rakes.
Take a holiday indefinitely
And think proudly of the past.
Just ensure his latest album
Is most certainly his last.

tags: mccartney heather beatles rasputin hair poems