Internet Poster Children

[Inspired by Queen guitarist Brian May's long-standing passion for blogging and annoyance at MySpace, this poem imagines him refusing to be hounded off the web.]


Vicious gangs of cyber-bullies,
Happy-slapping virtual hoodies,
Lurking in the HTML
To make my online heaven hell.
They laugh at me on MySpace
But they'd never do it to my face.
And I choose to ignore them
On the Queen discussion forum.
They made a WeeMee of me
With hair obscenely curly.
Covered a wooden spoon with pubes
And said it was me in a film on YouTube.

Internet poster children,
I ought to track them down and kill them.
But I won't let technology
Become my mortal enemy.
Internet poster children,
Let them eat spam, and bug Robbie Williams.
As dear dead Freddie used to say:
No-one makes a monkey out of Brian May.