A Date with Diddy

[Inspired by this story about a possible romance between rap mogul megastar (P) Diddy and model-turned-actress Sienna Miller.]

"Sienna, my dear," said Diddy one night,
"Come with me back to your room.
I'll shower you there with Cristal champagne,
And douse you with trendy perfume.
We can sit and watch DVD boxsets.
I've got Friends seasons 1 to 4.
After Chandler and Monica get it on,
We'll burn effigies of Jude Law."

"Diddy my darling," Sienna replied,
"I'd much rather go for a drive.
The press are obsessed with my current success,
And they can't take my picture if I'm inside.
So say goodbye to your entourage
Leave your feeble Friends on the sofa.
Take off your jewellery and fashionable shades,
And pretend you're my personal chauffeur.

They slipped into his Mercedes Benz
Where Sienna passionately kissed him.
While Diddy fiddled absently
With his TomTom sat-nav system.
Sienna deduced he was dithering
As he struggled to start the ignition.
"Diddy my driver, what's wrong?" she cried,
"Are you wary of carbon emission?"

"That's certainly a burning issue," he said,
"But it ain't the problem, amigo.
This car was custom-built for Diddy
And is fuelled by my hip-hop ego.
Without my posse and trademark bling,
I'm as powerless as a mere flunky.
So lets head back to your hotel and watch
The one where Ross loses his monkey."