Rod's Models, Inc

[Behind the scenes of the business that keeps Rod Stewart in leggy lovelies. Normal service will be resumed soon.]

Last year I got a part-time job
I was broke and obliged to do it.
Working in a hi-tech factory,
Churning out wives for Rod Stewart

All long blonde hair and legs designed
To travel down for miles.
Ample breasts and perfect teeth
Fixed into perma-smiles.

Sometimes he'd turn up unannounced
To inspect his latest bride
With Ronnie Wood from the Rolling Stones
Strapped loyally to his side.

He'd croak at us in his husky voice:
"Take a bit of meat off the hip.
Extend these calves by an inch or two
And remove the personality chip."

If he wasn't pleased he'd take you aside
And cast you a long-nosed look
Then sing an insipid inspiring tune
From The Great American Songbook.

Rod wasn't a bad boss all in all
And he certainly paid enough.
This summer I'm stuck making bedroom toys
For some girl named Hilary Duff.