Lourdes' lament

[Inspired by this story about Madonna worrying that she's a bad mother.]

There are times when I look at my mother and think
Maybe she's too old to be wearing pink.
And though she is famous and pretty I know
It's not cool to expose your cameltoe.

I can sense the embarrassment of both my dads
When again she gets her tits out for the lads.
If you've got 'em then flaunt 'em or so they say
But there comes a point when you must put them away.

I'll always admire her incredible drive
And the way she can crack nuts between her thighs.
But other moms don't swear and gyrate like whores
Especially approaching the menopause.

See I don't expect her to sit there and knit
Or stop making efforts to keep herself fit.
But next time she comes down to talk to my teachers
I hope that she covers her private features.